


Midnight

by boxuan



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Angst, Bad Ending, F/F, One Shot, One-Sided Love, sorry @ nkmk stans and also sorry @ nicotori stans. i guess. also sorry x2 @ maki stans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 08:17:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12031863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boxuan/pseuds/boxuan
Summary: Being in love with Nico Yazawa isn’t something Maki is used to.





	Midnight

_Twelve._

 

Being in love with Nico Yazawa isn’t something Maki is used to. She doesn’t like it. Nico’s silhouette keeps bothering her, even behind closed eyelids, she can’t find peace. Her heart hurts when it is beating, her chest is twisted when she’s thinking about Nico. She is falling constantly.

Being in love with Nico Yazawa is stressing Maki out. She can’t tell anyone. After all, her best friend is Nico’s girlfriend, and she isn’t selfish enough to tell either of them. She wishes she could.

Being love with Nico Yazawa is exhausting Maki. She hasn’t slept through for days, weeks, months. Her mind is left spinning and her chest aching when Nico’s around.

Being in love with Nico Yazawa drives Maki insane. She can’t think straight anymore.

 

_Eleven._

 

Maki’s still flinching when an absent minded Nico touches her, and she doesn’t think that will ever stop. The way Nico crunches her nose when pouting, wiggles her brows when mildly excited, laughs so much her gum is showing when someone told a joke is too overwhelming for Maki to comprehend. Maki doesn’t think her feelings for Nico Yazawa will ever fade.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?”, Nico asks idly, playing with a strand of Maki’s hair. “Nothing.” Maki suppressed the urge to slap Nico’s hand away.

 

“Wanna grab something to eat? I’m literally starving.”

“Sure, what do you want?”

 

She eyes Nico, who leans against the door while checking her phone. Maki has to forcefully avert her gaze from Nico’s long, uncovered legs. “What about Italian? I’m texting Kotori right now, let’s see what she’s thinking.” Nico’s voice gets quieter as she reaches the end of the sentence, already completely focusing on the phone. Maki’s heart drops a bit, even though she hates admitting it. Kotori is her best friend, after all, but she can’t help it.

These days, Maki rarely has control over what to feel or think.

 

_Ten._

 

When Nico presses the accelerator and the car’s speed increases, Maki is almost at ease. Only almost. She can’t forget Nico’s presence that easily, so she sticks her headphones in, closes her eyes and tries to focus on the music drumming in her ears.

 

_Nine._

 

Kotori kisses Nico gently on the lips as soon they as arrive at the restaurant ; Nico grins and folds her hands behind Kotori’s waist. Maki tries not to stare when Nico kisses Kotori a second time. They both giggle, Kotori blushes a little. Maki smiles, her eyes don’t.

 

_Eight._

 

Kotori talks about her internship at a big fashion company she dreamed of working at. Nico talks about her application as a choreographer, which could be the first step of a solo career.

Even Nozomi, who called them during the first course, talked briefly about the planning of her and Eli’s wedding before announcing that she and the rest would arrive soon.

Maki doesn’t talk.

Planning a future without Nico by her side feels useless. She tries to fade out the now dull taste of her pizza.

 

_Seven._

 

Maki relies on alcohol more than she used to. No one notices that she’s the most drunk in the group, or, what makes more sense to her brain, stuffed with hate and bitterness, no one cares.

Maki opens another bottle of gin.

 

_Six._

 

They just arrived at the karaoke bar and Maki has to lay down already. It’s late, though, so everyone thinks she’s just tired, which she is. While Honoka performs a loud, shrill pop song that drills into Maki’s head, she’s resting her head in Nozomi’s lap. She is singing quietly for her, but Maki can’t quite tell what it’s about.

The words merge into a slurred mess and fail to comfort her. Maki wants to sleep forever.

 

_Five._

 

When Maki enters her flat, it’s almost morning. She tumbles into the bathroom and falls on her knees, already vomiting. Wiping away sick from her mouth and blood from her nose with shaking hands, Maki breaths out steadily to calm her heartbeat. She tries to comfort herself - “It was worse when I was in high school and had to sneak in so Mama and Papa wouldn’t wake up” -, but she just feels more miserable.

Maki straightens up clumsily and drags her body to her bed, on which she falls asleep instantly.

She doesn’t remember anything when she wakes up.

 

_Four._

 

Nico Yazawa is honey. Thick and idly, she creeps in Maki’s veins, intoxicating.

Sweet and tempting, Maki wants more and more and more. She can’t get enough.

Nico Yazawa is glass. See through and honest, Maki envies her _so_ much. While she’s shining in light, Maki drowns in darkness.

 

Maki wonders if swallowing honey and glass would feel nearly as painful as loving Nico Yazawa.

 

_Three._

 

Nico is everything, Maki is nothing.

Nico is happy, Maki is not.

Nico will grow, Maki will rot.

 

_Two._

 

Being in love with Nico Yazawa is giving and giving and giving and getting nothing back.

Being in love with Nico Yazawa is taking her breath away.

Being in love with Nico Yazawa is killing her.

 

_One._

 

Maki is already dead.


End file.
